


The Impotence of Being Dean

by Wingsandcoffee



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, Supernatural
Genre: Implied Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Impotence, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Romance, So yeah, dream visit, everyone ships it, nothing graphic, srsly if you like John you won't like the way he's spoken of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 11:23:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5965510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wingsandcoffee/pseuds/Wingsandcoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean meets the goddess Aphrodite she gives him a gift, though it's more like a curse at first. Finding/admitting his True Love will break the curse. Will Dean get over himself to do just that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Impotence of Being Dean

**Author's Note:**

> A little Destiel piece for the upcoming Valentine's Day. I hope you like.

“Where’s your pretty brother, Dean?” the goddess appeared before him on a throne shaped like an oyster shell. They’d thought it was a witch at first, but soon realized it was way more than that. “Loki says you two never go anywhere without each other. Better yet, where’s that pretty little angel?”

Dean raised his angel blade—the only thing they could grab on short notice they knew could kill anything.

“Please” the goddess—who was almost completely naked by the way—waved a hand and the blade went flying. “I haven’t killed anyone. What’s your deal?”

“You’ve been controlling people, breaking up relationships.”

“Relationships that weren’t working, dummy. Did you do your research? Do you even know who I am?”

“I don’t care, lady. Dude tried to kill himself when his girl left him.”

“That is so not my fault” the goddess scoffed. “That bastard is an emotional manipulator, Dean. I only pointed Tara towards her true love. That’s what I’ve been doing, jackass. I’m Aphrodite, the goddess of LOVE. I can’t believe you didn’t even bother to find that out before confronting me.” She got right up in his personal space “What kind of hunter are you?”

Aphrodite? Well, she was hot but…the blade wasn’t that far…he could…

Aphrodite waved her hand again and the blade skittered further away.

“How’d you do that? Love goddesses shouldn’t be able to do fighting stuff.” And really? He was supposed to believe her?

“I’ve slept with the god of war, things rub off” she paused for a moment, then giggled. “Things rub off, that’s funny. Come on, Dean, I thought you dug that kind of humor.”

He tried to reach for his gun, so he could at least distract her but it was like moving through wet cement.

Aphrodite sighed “I can’t believe you’re resisting my influence. A man’s aggression melts away when they lay eyes on me. I met Sam at the market, why do you think he wanted to stop this stupid hunt? He realized no one was being hurt, not really. He told you, even before, but meeting me gave him the confidence boost to tell you to go screw yourself—not that you’re that flexible,” she added with a smirk.

Okay, she was right about Sam but…

“You’re controlling people” he said again.

“No I’m not!” she stomped her foot “I’m helping them. All I’m doing is giving them a nudge, what they do from there is not on me. You’ve met one of Heaven’s cupids, right?”

“Don’t remind me” he growled “I’m not afraid to hit a woman.”

“Are too. You don’t do as good when your monster of the week is female. Kudos, but really, sack up, man.”

“I will hit you.”

“If you can move your arms, go for it. But it’s really hard to engage in war-like behavior in the presence of a love goddess. You must have figured that out by now. I know you’re not as dumb as you look. Despite what Loki says.”

Dean squinted “What does Loki say? That son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure he has parents. BUT, dude, he is fantastic in bed. He does this thing with his tongue…”

“I don’t wanna hear that!”

Aphrodite smiled “Anyway Dean…” she sighed “if it bothers you so much that I’m bringing Soulmates together, I’ll move out of your radar. Just stop trying to kill me. You kill me, Ares will lose his shit and Greece will be worse off than it already is. It’s about balance. It’s why I have to ask you to try not to kill anymore angels. See demons are made all the time but angels aren’t. Think about that.”

“They come after me, I’ll kill ‘em.”

“But you won’t kill me?” she actually freaking batted her eyelashes.

Dean sighed “Fine whatever. You can go.” He didn’t wanna deal with this shit.

Aphrodite grinned “Yay! And as thanks I’m gonna do a you a favor in return.” She reached out and put a hand on his crotch.

He flinched “Uh no, that…I make it a point not to do that with goddesses.”

She’d stepped back as soon as he’d said no “that’s racist but whatever. You’re not even into me, which is weird. I’m too curvy for you, is that it?”

“No! It’s just…”

She looked into his eyes “You poor thing. Must be so dark in there.”

“What?”

“Reason you’re not into me is because you’re already in love with your Soulmate. You just don’t realize it.”

What? That was crap. He wasn’t in love with anyone…anymore. “That’s crap.”

She patted his check “You’ll figure it out and till you do, no hard-ons for you. Okay, I love you, bye-bye!” she vanished before he could react to that, throne and all.

Well that was the weirdest meeting with a goddess ever. And what did she mean ‘no hard-ons’?

…

After checking in with Sam (making sure Aphrodite didn’t do anything weird to him), Dean went to the bar. No way was he not gonna get hard tonight.

He found himself a pretty brunette. She was exactly his type; slender, leggy, blue eyes (he had a thing) and she didn’t tell him what he allegedly was thinking. She was a little forceful but that was cool, he loved that shit. In the bedroom he could just let go of everything and be taken care of. Of course, he always gave the woman the best pleasure in her life in return.

He had his tongue wrapped around the girl’s and he was pressed close against her, but he wasn’t hard yet. That was weird but he did have quite a bit to drink. Just a few more minutes should do it. Yeah, he’d make this chick feel good and then he’d be raring to himself, yep.

Nope. He went down on her like a starving man, got her coming like a champ. And he was still limp as cooked spaghetti. The hell? Was Aphrodite telling the truth? Did she make him impotent? No, no way. He’d just have to try again when he was sober. That was it.

…

Three failed attempts at sex with beautiful women and seven failed attempts at masturbation later and Dean was forced to conclude that that blonde ditz of a goddess had been truthful with him. He was impotent till he found his true love.

And what kind stupid crap was that? He didn’t even believe in Soulmates and true love. If those things existed than there wouldn’t be cupids, right?

Okay, she’d said he’d already met his “true love” but who the hell was that? There were so many options. He shoved back the thoughts of the women he’d cared for the most—it couldn’t be one of them. He wouldn’t have left Cassie so easily if it was her. And Lisa…honestly, he was a complete jerk to her, why she put up with him for so long he couldn’t figure. Besides even if he already knew his “true love” he couldn’t risk surrounding her with the hunting life, not after what happened with Cassie and Lisa.

…

“Oh my god!” Aphrodite kicked her foot against the railing in the Viewing Room “What kind of moron is he?”

“A big one, I told you” Gabriel said.

“He’s bisexual and in love with the angel! How does he not see that? Everyone sees it!”

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose “Check how he grew up and you’ll see. Why did you call me here?”

Aphrodite turned to him with a sneaky little smirk “Word on the street is that you’re really the Archangel Gabriel.”

Gabriel tilted his head (what? It was an angel thing) “I was forced out of the angel closet years ago, Aphrodite. And you’re just now…”

She waved hand “I have an idea. I think Dean needs a hug from his mama. Can you arrange that?”

“She’s been dead too long for resurrection.”

“In a dream, silly. She wouldn’t care if her baby was with another man, would she?”

“No. She’d just want him to be happy.”

“Exactly! Can you do it? I think Dean needs another nudge.”

What Dean needed was a swift kick in the pants, but whatever.

…

Dean found himself in a closet and not just any closet. It was his closet from his bedroom back in the house—before they lost everything. What was he doing here?

“Dean? Dean, baby, where are you?” that sounded like his mom’s voice. Why was she calling him?

“Mom?” he tried opening the closet door but it wouldn’t budge. “Mom?”

The door opened and there was his mom, just like he remembered her “Dean, baby, why you hiding in here?”

“I wasn’t, I just…I got locked in.”

Mom took his hand and led him to his bed “Let’s talk, sweetie.”

They both sat down and Mom pulled him into a tight hug “I’ve missed you, Dean, so much. You and Sammy. You’ve grown into such a strong and handsome man.”

Dean blinked and pulled back from her “You—you see me as I am?”

“Of course I do.”

“This isn’t a memory?”

“No. I’m really here, baby, in your dream”

“How?”

“Sometimes souls in Heaven can dreamwalk if their loved ones really need them. And a little bird told me you needed a mama hug.”

That was impossible wasn’t it? Why hadn’t it happened before? No, this had to be just a dream. Or a djinn fantasy.

Mom sighed “I can see that hunter brain ticking away, Dean. Trust me, this is really your dream and I’m really visiting it.”

“Sammy needs you more” his automatic response to anything good was that his brother was more deserving.

Mom cupped his cheek “No he doesn’t, Dean. He has you. You need me right now.”

“No, I don’t deserve you, Mom. I’m such a fuck up, you-you gotta be so disappointed in me, hate me so much.”

Mom’s eyes hardened and she put both hands on Dean’s shoulders “Dean Michael Winchester, look at me. Don’t you dare talk like that. Don’t you dare keep lying to yourself. What have I told you about lying?”

Dean’s bottom lip actually quivered “That it’s not good. But Dad said…”

“Do you think I give a flying fig what your father says? Dean, you listen to me and you listen good, young man.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I am your mother. I could NEVER hate you, do you understand? And I am not disappointed in you. I am so proud. You have done the best you could for you brother, your father and your friends. You’ve only ever done what your heart told you was right.”

“But I’ve made deals with demons.”

“I made a deal with a demon once. And if I hadn’t I never would have gotten my two little boys who grew up to be heroes.”

“I’m no hero.”

“Oh Dean, my little angel, where did you get such low self-esteem?” she hugged him again “I just want you to be happy. Why aren’t you happy Dean?”

He buried his face into the crook of her neck “Don’t deserve it.”

“Yes you do.”

“Sammy…”

“You deserve to happy just as much as Sammy does. And you know what? If you’re happy, then Sammy will be happy too. He worries about you so much.”

“Not his job. It’s…”

“It’s a two way street, Dean. You’re his brother, not his parent.”

“I don’t know anything else” he found himself confessing. Though God, did he wish he did. He would never resent Sammy. But fuck, did he resent the hell out of their dad.

Mom pulled back and looked into his eyes. “Why don’t we change the subject for a while? Is there anyone special in your life? Someone you might like to settle down with.”

“No” Dean sighed “I mean, Aphrodite says there is but I can’t think who she is.”

“Are you sure it’s a she?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been watching you Dean. Angel baby, you can tell me anything. What about Castiel?”

“What about him?”

“I’ve seen how you look at each other. Dean, you’ve been denying yourself the happiness he can bring you. That angel would do anything for you. Can’t you see it?”

Dean rubbed his hands over his face with a heavy sigh “Mom, I…” oh fuck everything, it’s not like it was his dad he was talking to right? And this was a dream. “Okay, yes, I…sometimes I like guys and Cas…” he took a breath “I can’t do that to Cas. I’d just fuck it up.” Truth was, Dean knew full well was attracted to Cas. But true love? There was no way he could risk hurting Cas like that. It had to be someone else, right? Right?

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I always do.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Did you see what happened with Lisa?”

“She’s not your true love.”

“Was Dad yours?”

Mom was quiet for a long moment and sighed “I don’t know. Honestly, I was considering divorce once you boys were older. Your father drank so much and I suspected of cheating on me once or twice. But I think he was still suffering from Vietnam. And of course, he refused to tell me what happened over there.”

“Do you know how many times he left me and Sammy alone?”

“Yes and I’ve ripped him a new one for that, believe me. Now, we’re not talking about your father. We’re talking about you.”

Dean took a deep breath. Truth of the matter was, he really did feel more than plain attraction to Cas. But he fought and buried those feelings so deep he was able to ignore them most of the time. In his heart of hearts (and damn his subconscious for acting up as he slept) he wanted so much to be with Castiel. But… “Mom, I’ve already fucked Cas up enough just by knowing him. If we were together I’d just ruin him even more. He’s an angel Mom, he’s probably the purest angel there is and I can’t take that away from him.”

“Don’t you think that’s something he should decide? Dean, you gotta stop making decisions for other people. You know how your brother feels about that. How do you think an angel feels?”

“Actually I think Cas likes having a sense of order.”

Mom face palmed with a groan “Maybe but I expect he’d appreciate it if he was, I don’t know, actually told. And feelings, Dean, have nothing to do with order.”

…

Castiel sat across the kitchen table from Sam “Sam, is there something wrong with Dean? He’s been more surly than usual.”

Sam scoffed “Tell me about it.” He ran a hand through his hair “I think that meeting with Aphrodite really spooked him but he refuses to tell me what she said to him.”

“Perhaps ask her. I understand Aphrodite is one of the nicer goddesses.”

Sam sighed “I thought about it but I have no idea how to get a hold of her.”

“Gabriel might know. He does enjoy the company of pagans.”

“Yeah, I was gonna try him next.”

There was a flutter of wings, announcing an angel’s arrival “You were? I’m flattered, Bigfoot. Anywho, my ears were burning, plus I was in the neighborhood.” He crossed his arms with a grin “What do you ask of me?”

Castiel stood “Did Aphrodite do something do Dean?”

“Sure did, I don’t mind telling you. She made him impotent.”

“That explains it” Sam said. “Wait, why?”

“Relax, Fabio, she’s helping him. The impotence will only last till he admits and declares his true love. Mind, in your brother’s closeted case that won’t be till the 5th of Never.”

Sam stood as well, likely to try and intimidate the archangel with his height “Who’s his true love?”

Gabriel’s mouth dropped open “Really? You spend damn near 24/7 with the man and you haven’t figured it out?” he rolled his eyes “Okay, I’ll throw some hints at ya. The love story of your moronic brother and his heart’s desire is one for the ages, it’s epic. And when they finally kiss it will blast all other famous kisses outta the water.”

Sam squinted and then his eyes widened “Closeted. Oh my god” he turned his gaze on Castiel “Of course, I should have seen it.”

“Damn right you should have. Here and I thought everyone knew. Balthazar’s been running a betting pool on when they get together.”

“What are you talking about?” Castiel asked “Who is the one who can cure Dean of this issue?” Of course Castiel knew. But he also knew that Dean didn’t want him. Castiel was in the wrong body.

“Are you fucking serious?” Gabriel exclaimed “Okay, little brother, let me illuminate you.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes “I do not require illumination, brother.” He sighed and sank back into the chair. He may as well admit it, it was impossible to lie in front of Gabriel for too long anyway. “I have loved Dean since the moment I saw his soul shining in Hell. But he does not want me. I am in the wrong vessel.”

Gabriel put a hand on his shoulder “His soul cries out for yours, Castiel.”

“I have found that Dean and his soul do not often work in tandem.”

“Dean doesn’t think he deserves happiness” Sam said quietly.

“That’s because he’s always sacrificing it for you,” Gabriel said. “Because SOMEONE raised him to believe you were more important.” He gave an ironic chuckle “Then he turns around and tells Dean to kill you if you went darkside. God, Zeus is a better father than him.”

Sam’s eyes hardened and it was clear he was thinking unkind thoughts of his father. He took a breath “Then Dean needs to be told that…”

“Your mother’s taking care of that.”

“What?”

“Dean’s asleep yeah? I arranged it so your mother’s spirit could dreamwalk and give him some motherly support. And if that doesn’t work then I give the fuck up. Actually no, then Castiel it’ll be on you to tell that moron exactly how you feel or I swear to Dad…”

…

 

 

Dean woke up with a mixture of feelings. He felt safe and loved for having talked to his mother and he still felt her presence around him. He felt peace at having admitted to himself that yes, he liked guys and yes, he was in fact desperately in love with Cas. But he was also terrified of screwing things up. He didn’t want to hurt Cas and he didn’t want to ruin him.

But Mom was right. Dean couldn’t make the decision for the angel. He had to talk to him and they had to agree. Apparently communication was key, which was something Dean could never fully grasp before—probably why all previous relationships never lasted. It was also, Mom pointed out, why he and his brother were always on rocky ground.

Okay so, how exactly was he going to tell Cas?

…

Valentine’s Day. It was actually almost Valentine’s Day. Okay, maybe Dean would try to be cheesy about it. Cas liked cute things after all so maybe he’d appreciate it.

Dean stood in the Valentine aisle at Wal-Mart and stared in horror—it was all so pink and red. Why was there so much pink and red?

“Can I help you sir?” a blond man in a Wal-Mart vest approached him. He had baby blue eyes and was really smoking hot, not as hot as Cas though. Cas was the only one on Dean’s mind right now.

“Uh, maybe?” Dean rubbed the back of his head nervously “I’m looking for something.”

“For your Valentine?” the dude smiled gently—his nametag said Aaron.

“If all goes according to plan, I guess.”

“So tell me about your intended. What do they like?” Aaron didn’t use female pronouns, Dean noticed, he didn’t automatically assume Dean was here about a girl.

Dean breathed in deeply “Uh, well” okay, time to be brave “he likes bees and cats.”

Aaron’s smile didn’t waver “Anything else? Does he like chocolate?”

“I don’t know. Uh, I know he likes honey.” Dean couldn’t believe this. He wasn’t being gay-bashed or judged.

“Hmm, okay. What’s his personality like?”

“Depends on his mood. Uh, he’s really smart and he can be a big softie, doesn’t get most pop-culture but he can become a real badass if he needs to.”

“What does he do for a living?”

Crap, how did Dean answer that one? “He works for his family. I’m not really sure what they do.”

“Okay,” Aaron turned towards a shelf and plucked something off of it “You said he likes cats?” he held a plush tiger with a heart around its neck that said “Wild About You.”

“That could work” Dean took it from him. Cas once told him that his personality reminded him of a tiger.

“Now, if you want to get him something edible” Aaron continued “I recommend getting him some fresh local honey. And if you really want to impress him, take him to a bee farm. Jackson Farms, just outside of town has bees and they give tours throughout the year. The bees won’t be very active right now but there’s no harm in looking.”

That was a great idea. AND it would show Cas that Dean actually pays attention to him. “That’s great, man, thanks.”

“No problem, dude. I’m always happy to lend a hand for love. I hope everything works out.”

…

Castiel flew immediately to Dean when he called him that morning. Apparently Dean wanted to talk to him about something. Likely, it was just for a consultation on a case but still Castiel would always answer whenever Dean calls. If that was all he could get then he would take it and treasure it.

Dean smiled when Castiel appeared “Hey Cas.” Dean’s heart, Castiel noted, was beating rapidly.

“Hello Dean. How may I assist you?”

Dean blinked and his smile faltered “Assist me? Do you think I called you here for help on a case or something?”

“Didn’t you?” Castiel tilted his head and squinted.

Dean stepped back “Nuh-uh, man. You stay out of my head, it’s a surprise.”

“A surprise? I don’t understand.”

Dean took a deep gulp of air “I was wondering if you had time to hang out today? There’s this place outside of Hastings that I wanna show you. I think you’d like it.”

“Oh.” This was most unusual (Gabriel had been teaching him human idioms so he knew what “hang out” meant), it was rare that Dean simply wanted to be social with him “So, you just want to spend time together?”

“Yeah, like the regular people who don’t have to fight demons for a living.”

“I am not certain I understand how to do that.”

Dean chuckled “Me neither man, I figured we’d just wing it.”

“Is Sam accompanying us?”

Dean pulled a face “Ugh, no. Gabe took him somewhere. I didn’t ask ‘cos I really don’t want to know.”

“Of course. Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. It’s a surprise.”

It occurred to Castiel that perhaps Dean could be trying to court him. It would explain the man’s unusual nervousness and, now that Castiel was listening, the way his soul was singing to him. Unless Castiel was completely misreading the situation. Maybe he should just let things play out. But really, he should tell Dean he knew of Aphrodite’s curse—if Dean were to find out later…Well, it would not be pretty, as Gabriel might say.

“Dean” Castiel said once they were on the highway.

“Yeah?”

“I know what Aphrodite did to you.”

Dean swerved and pulled off the side of the road “What?”

“Gabriel told Sam and I. We’d both noticed your recent disposition and were concerned.”

Dean sighed and looked down “So you…you know what I’m doing?”

Castiel put a finger under Dean’s chin and lifted his gaze “Not entirely. I still don’t know where you’re taking me. But I do know you are very nervous, your heart is pounding much quicker than normal and your soul is singing out to me.”

“My soul is singing?”

“Yes. You soul has cried out to me for many years now as my grace has cried out to you.”

“What?” Dean whispered.

“Dean, I have loved you since the moment I first saw your soul in Hell. You were nearly a demon but your soul shone brightly from beneath the smoke, still fighting.”

“You never said.”

“I knew you would not want this body” he gestured to himself “so, I was content to be your friend and I still am.”

The shine to Dean’s eyes became greater and when he blinked a tear slid down his cheek. Castiel wiped it away with a thumb. “Cas.” Dean cleared his throat “Cas, I…I’ve been a damn fool. I…I…aw, fuck, I want to be with you so bad but…”

Dean’s thoughts were so loud, Castiel could not help but overhear them. “I know your fears Dean. But nothing you could do could ever hurt me. And you have never ruined me. The choices I’ve made, I’ve made myself and I ask—no, command you to stop blaming yourself. You say you want to be with me. I want to be with you as well. We are in agreement. I see no alternative but to be together.”

Dean reached up and put a hand on Castiel’s cheek and stared at him for a long moment. Then finally, the last block inside him gave way and he smiled “Okay then, let’s do this.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to Castiel’s.

…

Dean kept the kiss chaste because he felt that was how it should be for the first kiss with his True Love. He was still damn terrified but it looked Cas was gonna stick by his side and they’d face the unknown together.

“So” he said when he pulled back “it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m taking you on a date. I think you’re really gonna like it and uh” he reached across Cas and dug in the glove compartment. “This is for you.” He handed Cas the plush tiger.

Cas smiled “Thank you Dean. I am wild about you as well. But I didn’t get you a gift.”

Dean waved a hand and kissed his cheek “Just you being here is enough. Now, we gotta get going, we’ve got a reservation.”

…

Cas loved visiting the farm and had somehow convinced Dean to buy honey and goat’s milk soap for Sam, Gabriel and even Aphrodite. Okay, Dean thought of her on his own—if it wasn’t for her Dean would still be stuck in the closet.

Sam still wasn’t home when they got back to the bunker which was just as well. Dean wanted Cas just to himself for a while longer.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“Can we kiss some more?”

Dean smiled and pulled Cas down to the couch with him “Absolutely.” When Dean leaned in, Cas opened his mouth inviting in Dean’s tongue to which Dean gladly complied. The kiss soon became heated till Dean found himself straddling Cas’s lap and he felt something hard pressing into…something else hard.

He pulled back just enough to look at Cas “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you angel baby?” His voice came out thick with lust.

Cas’s eyes were hooded and his voice was even huskier than usual “So are you. It seems your curse is broken, Dean.”

Dean smiled “Sure is. I love you, Cas.”

“I love you too, Dean. For always.”

Dean had an erection but that didn’t really matter anymore. He was with Cas, that was what mattered. If Cas wanted to get it on then hell yeah, but if Cas wanted to wait, then wait they would. Dean was just happy to be with his angel no matter what happened next.

**Author's Note:**

> Um...I'm not sure how I feel about this. I like the overall plotline but I'm not sure I like it in a short story form. I think it needs more. But, let me know what you think and we'll see what happens.


End file.
